"SICK WITH ENVY"

Got sick. Not feeling well, that's why I decided to have a sick leave.

Shame......... I have 2 leaves for this month in two consecutive week.
Both sick leave. I'm really sick, but i don't know if I'm doing this to run out of my job or I got sick because of my job, I am deeply affected of what my job is.

Maybe. I can't find any sensible reason to leave than being sick.

Sad for me, I am "SICK WITH ENVY".. But I can't reproach anyone for my lapses and misdeed. There's no one to be blame but me. I can't form an estimate on what life has to offer, rather I am no more expecting. It might be my price, for wishing to much. Now I know the meaning of being contented, contented on what HE has given you. You should know how to control your specific feeling of desire. At least now I know.

But I've gone through this because of my aspirations. Am I wrong to dream? Or these dreams had been too much?..

I am no longer in possession nor have a control in my direction, I want to take a reverse gear but its no longer applicable, I tried to speed up but it makes me stop, and there's no u-turn slot ahead, where am I going? I'm lost definitely.

Wish I could found new and right direction. Here I am again wishing. Too bad.. I should change this apparent nature. I will.

I'm letting all my burdens and fears in HIS grace hands. Whatever will be, will be..
I just hope I can still smile tomorrow.